If you're anything like me, you're obsessive about cleaning up. I hate leaving dishes overnight in the sink. I get this sinking feeling (pardon the pun), in the pit of my stomach when I wake in the morning to a pile of dirty dishes in the sink.
But I wish "cleaning" up my life was as easy as clearing out the kitchen sink. Old habits seem to linger like die hard fans, leaving me feeling like a hamster on a ferret wheel, running round and round with no end in sight. Cycles keep repeating themselves despite the many times I've thought "Gotcha...I've cracked the code!" But what on earth is that code? Isn't that 'code' ME?
We ought to be the world's best authority on the subject of 'us and ourselves'...right? But are we really? If we are, why do we make some of the crazy mistakes we make? Remember those decisions that caused you so much pain, you'd run a mile in the opposite direction if you ever had the chance to do it all again? Yep... we've all got at least one of those.
So what's the deal? Well...I've discovered that in order to conquer my weaknesses, I must go to war with myself! Let me explain. I have two natures - simply put, the STRONG, determined and disciplined me and the LAZY, unfocused and undisciplined me. If I'm to become the woman I want so desperately to be, I must teach my lower nature to submit and conform to my higher nature.
My lower nature wants to be indolent, lackadaisical and directionless, while my higher nature wants to be creative, innovative, driven and productive. My lower nature is happy to start a project but leave it uncompleted simply because boredom set in. My higher nature wants to succeed at all costs despite any obstacles tossed in my path. My lower nature when gripped with fear, will allow fear to cripple and debar it from embarking on worthwhile endeavours all in the name of "What if I don't succeed?" My higher nature looks fear dead in the eyes and says "Yes I feel you but I'm going to do it any way, cos what if I succeed?"
"Am I willing to do whatever it takes to get to wherever I need to go?"
Here's what I've learnt. My higher nature must school my lower nature on how to become disciplined. Its time to take the high road.